big game hunting

shopping is hunting, right? you could go someplace like nordstrom, or a cool boutique like frances may or moxie and it would be like taking an uzi into a nature preserve in illinois (major deer overpopulation.)

some of us like that. but some of us want to stalk something. to set up an elaborate trap. to hide for hours without seeing anything. to hobble back to camp, stiff from crouching, empty-handed. because sometimes it works. sometimes you stalk, and you hide, and you wait, and you capture a peacock unicorn hybrid and feast on it’s flesh and stuff it and put it on display.

that’s goodwill. when i find something awesome in goodwill, i feel awesome. i am awesome. big game hunting in africa awesome. today, i shot a snow leopard.

5 dollars. purple dress with low pockets. very very soft.