high school

High school was ill-fated for me. Here’s how I know that:


The summer between 8th and 9th grade I caught head lice from my sister. We slept with mayonnaise in our hair. It was hot and the mayonnaise never washed all of the way out. I was fourteen, covered in tiny bugs and smelled like hot, old, sweaty mayonnaise.


I had bronchitis right before school started, so my voice was very low, very quiet, and very scratchy. I sounded like a sick old man for the start of school. I didn’t say much.


But the final straw happened at our homeroom get to know you mixer. I went even though I was pretty sick still and had that man voice I already told you about. There wasn’t a single person from my middle school there, and when I tried to leave I couldn’t find my shoes. I got really anxious and looked all over. After quite awhile one of the girls started laughing really hard and then she said, “I hid your shoes!” She did not get up or tell me where they were. I will remember her name forever.