Starting a tradition

Do you guys like to throw parties? Now that I’m old (late 20s, almost officially) I know a few things about party-throwing. Throwing parties is expensive and people will disrespect your property. My friends threw a party in college and someone peed in their teapot.

The chaos depends a lot on the season. Your halloween party is going to be a f*ing mess. It will be the kind of party where everyone says the next day, “I haven’t been that drunk since…” or “…I woke up sleeping in someone else’s car, on someone else’s steering wheel, naked.”

You know what goes down at a gingerbread house making party? Gingerbread houses, because the candy was too heavy for the graham cracker roof to support. There is a liquid ton of giggling. Justin Bieber has a Christmas album. Did you guys know that? Everyone will be happy. There’s no - oh no she’s butt-dancing with that guy and I wanted her to be butt-dancing with me and now I’m smashing windows because I don’t know what to do with my sadness. I highly recommend it.

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